How To Create Healthy Boundaries

I hear about setting boundaries everywhere, from social media and podcasts to books—especially when it comes to health and well-being.

How do we really create these boundaries and actually let them be effective enough to make changes in our lives, especially when it comes to our well-being?

Sometimes I think that me creating a boundary may mean that I get to tell someone how they need to be with me. Or how they themselves need to be as a person.

However, I find myself always getting pushback that is often even worse than what I initially spoke to them about. Then it occurred to me that I really don’t fully understand what it really means to create healthy boundaries.

So I want to dive deep into this aspect of what it truly means to create healthy boundaries for better health and well-being.

Do you also struggle with creating better boundaries with others? If so, then this post will help you to understand how to do it more effectively than before. Please feel free to add to my list or ask your questions or concerns below. I would be happy to help you!

“Knowing how to create healthy boundaries the right way is the key to living a peaceful and guarded life.”

Be Aware of Your Emotions

If I am not at peace and there is inner turmoil or conflict, then self-awareness is the first step to understanding how to create healthy boundaries.

What triggered my emotions in the first place? Is it related to a confrontation with someone else, or is it related to my environment?

Understanding, first and foremost, the reason for the internal conflict is key.

When you know that you’re not in a good place based on your external environment or triggers, that’s the first clue to getting the time to pinpoint where that unrest is coming from.

Once you identify what is causing the internal conflict, it becomes much easier to navigate the external source.

For instance, I am upset about a conflict I’m having with a coworker. The coworker keeps undermining my position to others constantly.

My initial response is to tell her to stop what she is doing immediately. However, she hasn’t responded with good intentions to my request. She still continues to do the same thing.

Here’s where many of us get ourselves into trouble. We believe that we can change how a person interacts with us. Most likely not. People do have free will, whether we want to acknowledge that or not.

The goal in this situation is to be fully aware that we can’t change that person’s behavior towards us if they are not willing to acknowledge it as well.

Therefore, it’s best to focus instead on how we react or respond to this person’s behavior towards us. We can only be in control of our actions and reactions.

We cannot try to change anybody else.

Self-awareness is the first step in understanding how control over ourselves differs from trying to control others.

Guard Your Heart

Another effective way to establish healthy boundaries is to practice guarding your heart. I wrote an entire blog post on this topic, so be sure to check out Being Intentional About Guarding Your Heart.

Guarding our hearts is important because it is the gateway to our soul. We have to be an advocate for what we feed on daily in every situation of life.

If we are in a toxic situation, for instance, the situation I mentioned earlier, that means we need to be careful about how that coworker’s negative intentions towards us affect us also.

If we choose to complain about her as a person to others, then we will be allowing animosity towards her to slowly poison us. We therefore need to be aware of our own internal processing of toxic people regardless and not allow it to also poison us.

This is where we choose to consciously ignore their behavior as much as possible and protect our own emotions. If leaving or changing the environment isn’t an option, it means keeping interactions with this person strictly minimal.

Sometimes the best response is simply to let them be, allowing yourself to move forward unhindered by their choices. In time, people who treat others this way fall victim to their own habits.

You, however, don’t need to give them your full attention. Be strategic in what you choose to entertain in everyone.

Be An Advocate For Peace

When you fight for peace without it compromising your belief system or core values, it’s a win-win situation.

You’re making it a priority because of how important it is to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. A peaceful person always wins in every situation.

They are strategic about how they want their environment to be at all times. They don’t mind finding a middle ground that helps them to also remain in a peaceful state.

They also guard their peace at all times and make it a non-negotiable trait that they have. They are also self-aware when their peace is in conflict, and they try to get it fixed as quickly as possible so that they don’t fall into chaos.

This is a critical aspect of self-care that we often overlook—yet it is far more important than we might realize.

Don’t Ignore Red Flags

Sometimes we miss the mark on this very important part of our self-care practice. We can know fully that something is wrong or different about a person, but we don’t want to see it for what it is.

That is where we fall into a trap of compromising our core values and belief systems. For instance, we know that the coworker we are struggling with has shown us who she is before. We knew she was like that and to be careful with how we interact with her.

However, we might be the type that likes it when others are accepting of us, and that’s not always the case.

We will face dislike from others as long as we are in this world. That’s why we should never ignore the red flags that people most often reveal to us.

These are their own unresolved issues, which they project onto you in an attempt to feel better about themselves.

Once you are aware of that red flag, it’s best to limit your interaction with that person fully. That’s a way to be strategic about your own interactions with them.

Don’t Be Afraid To Walk Away

If an environment has gotten too overwhelming, and you’re beginning to lose your sense of peace, then you may have to walk away and let it be. Most of us, when we find ourselves in these environments, decide that we need to stick it out and not quit so easily.

However, I have seen enough cases of health scares in these environments to know that nothing is worth my life, sanctity, and peace.

I have one body that I need to tend to well. That means I have to be more intentional about keeping that body healthy for my journey on this earth.

Anything that is destroying my well-being and taking away from me having a peaceful life is non-negotiable.

I therefore have to make the necessary changes at all times to ensure that I am practicing this step and the prior ones to the best of my abilities.

Because at the end of the day, my survival on this earth is key, and if there is something that is reducing that part of myself, I have to make sure I don’t allow it to get the best of me.

I hope that these 5 tips will help you to understand boundaries much more and the importance of making sure that you protect your peace and sanity as much as you can by knowing how to function with others healthily.

I wrote a book called A Balanced Life: Moving From a Dysfunctional Life to a Purposeful One. I do believe that we can create the lives that we want to live for ourselves in peace and balance.

We need to make it a priority to shift our lives from what’s not working or helping us be our best selves to something more balanced and meaningful. Get a copy on Amazon.

Also, for more finding balance and self-care-related blog posts, visit:

• Learning To Be At Rest
• When Life Challenges Your Faith
• Living Life In Freedom
• Being Intentional About Guarding Your Heart
• Learning To Let Go Of What Doesn’t Serve You
• Walking By Faith Each Day
• Finding Joy And Peace In Simplicity
• Finding Peace In Chaos
• Learning To Love Who You Are
• Living A Life Of Gratitude
• Balancing Motherhood and Purpose
• A Mom In Need Of A TIME-OUT
• Benefits Of Self-care As A Mom
• Overcoming The Hurdles And Struggles Of Motherhood
• Staying fit as a mom

In addition, for more information about my personal journey of re-discovery, get a copy of my book available on Amazon: I am Who God Says I Am: Always be inspired to live the life God has planned for you. It also highlights my personal journey of transition from a dysfunctional life to a purposeful one.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest to see how life can be lived in balance.

Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below; I’d love to know what you think.

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