Finding Peace In Chaos

We live in a world that demands so much of our attention. As soon as we get up in the mornings, the list of to-dos can be so long. There are emails to check, breakfast to make, and the usual morning rush for the working class. It’s a never-ending rollercoaster of things to do each day.

Our minds are also constantly checking off a to-do list, which doesn’t make it any better either. The pile of laundry, waiting for us, the dinners that need to be prepared, and the kids that need our undivided attention for the most part.

I know chaos, and I know that it can get the best of us as women each time we start the day. Does it ever stop? The list of things to do every time. The constant checks in your brain about what you did, did not do, and vice versa.

I know the constant micromanaging of life ever so often. I do experience it as well, and I really don’t like it at all. If things were just simple, it would be a lot easier.

Yes, I have to eat, care for the home and kids, and work a job if that’s also my role in my family. However, with all these obligations, can I really find the time to have internal peace for myself, my life, and my schedule?

I can pinpoint for most women that the schedules they set for themselves can be far-fetched. The list of things to do, the activities for the kids, the nonstop meal prep, and so many to-dos.

Did you know that, in a friendship circle of moms, the most common complaint is “I am burned out”? I’m not surprised by the complaints. I actually have experienced the same thing in my own life. So I do know a thing or two about burnout.

However, I want to challenge the women who do feel like life is just pulling at you every so often to really take a look at your life, your schedule, and the time you have in the day to see if it isn’t overcrowded.

If you’re thinking to yourself as I write this out that you are on the “burn-out” side of life, then this realization is for you to take note of.

Let me open your eyes and understanding a bit about living a life that is constantly in chaos and actually accepting it as normal. There’s nothing normal about a chaotic life.

I will also help you to navigate the areas that are constantly chaotic and how to get the balance you need so that you can live a peaceful, less chaotic life with a sense of balance.

Is life a bit chaotic right now, and you’re wanting a lot more peace and balance with everything? Or do you have any suggestions on how to truly find the peace that you need? Please feel free to add to my list, or ask your questions or concerns below. I would be happy to help you!

“Living a chaotic life is not my ideal life. I would rather live a peaceful life that I have created and set the standard for, so that I can be my best self.”

Prioritize your to-do list daily

Take an analysis of everything that you have to do on a daily basis. The bare basics should be on top. That’s probably food, childcare, and work for those who do so. Just those three must-dos are already a handful.

Do you see that? I’m fully at home with my kids, and as we speak, I’m fully occupied with their needs and care for the most part. I’m also trying to figure out dinner for the night, after already doing lunch and breakfast.

I’m thinking to myself also about how the day just ended with everything I have going on for the day. It’s non-stop things, if you get my point. Not to mention, you probably added some more activities, whether it’s for the kids or other things that need your attention.

Where am I going with this? You might be asking. I’m trying to nicely tell you that your schedule is already packed up with childcare, meal prep, and, for working women, work. Think about it for a second. Do you really have a lot of time in a day to keep a LOT of things on your list as a priority?

News flash! You don’t! Unless you are smiling with joy at the end of the day because you’ve accomplished the basics and so much more. I can tell you that it’s not even possible without a “burnout” coming your way.

A lot of us, as women, tend to put productivity in the “I am achieving greatness” category. But we all know behind closed doors that it’s not the case.

You are probably miserable and resenting everybody, including your spouse and kids. Since they somehow seem to have so much less to deal with regularly.

So my suggestion is for those of you who have that packed schedule, thinking you’re somehow “superwoman”, please get rid of it as soon as you can. Let’s keep things simple for each day.

The three most important things on the list goes to the top. For the women with kids, that’s childcare, then meals are important, followed by work for some. For the stay-at-home moms, your list is basically childcare and meal prep. For the working moms, I will put childcare, work, and meal prep.

Those two or 3 three roles that you play, you don’t have a choice. They have to be done daily. But for EVERYTHING else (minus the spouse for the married women), it’s flexible.

You can choose to do some chores today, skip the next day, or improvise, however you choose. But should you start feeling the “burnout” coming, drop that list quickly. You can catch up another time.

What I’m trying to say here in simple terms is to STOP overscheduling your day with the things that are flexible and can be shifted around daily. Learn to prioritize your rest time as well. Which brings me to my next point.

Intermittent Rest Throughout The Day

Most of you as women are probably screaming at me right now, and I get it. You don’t think you have any time for yourself whatsoever, especially with the 2 or three core on your schedule.

Some of you don’t even know what the bathroom looks like anymore, because you don’t even give yourself time to get to it. But here’s the thing that most of us miss. We don’t prioritize rest for ourselves because we think it’s being “lazy”. But there’s nothing lazy about wanting to rest because we’re tired.

It’s also not the case that we can’t give ourselves a moment to catch a break. We pile it up with more flexible to-dos, thinking that we need to somehow catch up. We don’t need to. We need to rather take that break.

The break will look like anything from 10 minutes to an hour just to be still for a moment. It’s so important to practice this type of self-care because it allows us to reflect on our burnout level and to make adjustments as needed.

If I’m seriously struggling even with a break, then I do need more time to adjust for the day. If after my break I’m ok with doing more, then I can continue in that regard.

Monitor your internal struggles, but do give yourself a rest stop as needed throughout the day.

Find Your Happy Place

We tend to put everybody and their agendas first, then leave everything else that we find joy in on the back burner. Most of us like to say that we are “sacrificing” for the kids and it will eventually pay off. I have seen kids whose parents sacrifice their entire lives and well-being for them to choose their own path that had nothing to do with what they sacrificed for them.

That may be the expensive sports you choose to have them do while you live tirelessly at the games, and end up becoming something that they don’t care to do anymore as an adult.

That’s missed opportunities for you to get some goals accomplished that you wanted for yourself. The activities that give you a sense of peace and belonging.

You neglected yourself in hopes of building something for a child who may not want what you want for them. So be very careful about the decisions you make for your family in the long term. You may or may not get back the time you invested by not having balance.

In everything, the goal is to not neglect yourself while building the lives of the people around you. Rather, keep pouring into your well-being as much as you find the time to pour into your family’s well-being.

Be Kind To Yourself

For some strange reason, that I have yet to understand, the one thing about us as women is that we wear sacrifice for others as a badge of honor. In the midst of that, we have somehow also lost ourselves, our core, and many times who we are. We became so focused on everybody else around us that we neglect to focus on ourselves even for a moment.

We don’t take the time to cultivate self-care that’s healthy and beneficial not only for ourselves, but also for the people around us.

Self-neglect is a huge crisis in women and their daily habits. It’s the most common reason for “burnout”. We don’t spend the time to tend to our internal wellbeing. We are constantly just going nonstop for the most part, no matter what age, stage, or environment we find ourselves in.

Being kind to who you are and who you’re also becoming is just as important as everyone else in your circle. We all have a sense of belonging that is important just the same. You do have desires for yourself, your self-care, and anything else you dream of doing.

Those are also important, and should never be put on the back burner. I also say to others that the most regretful thing for women in the elderly community is not having done these things that made them feel whole. They were too busy being too busy and not desiring things for themselves.

They lost their core, and now at the end of their life, they are speaking up about what they would have done differently if they had another chance. Don’t let that be you.

Let your life also reflect the goals and dreams that you also have for yourself. Be kind to your humanity and tend to your well-being as well. You will be thankful for having lived a long life by loving yourself.

Defend Your Peace

Peace is so important to our lives as women. We talk about it so much in our circles. I want so much peace, I need peace, I want a peaceful life, and so many other versions of the word peace thrown in between.

We say it so much! However, the biggest problem is that we don’t defend it as much as we speak it. We don’t protect the peace that we keep talking about. When there is so much chaos around us, we tend to focus more on the chaos than on the areas that give us peace.

Why is that? It’s not that we want the chaos, because I can guarantee you that we’d rather have the peace. But yet we make chaos our focus ever so often.

If we could switch our focus to the things that give us joy and peace, it would be so beneficial to our mental health and well-being. Unfortunately, we tend to stay focused on the chaos of life.

Instead of pointing fingers at you, I will rather give you an example of how to defend your peace. Let’s say, for instance, your work environment is hectic, and you may have a few difficult bosses or coworkers who give you a tough time. I have had a few of those scenarios in my life before.

I can see where many of you might be complaining to your friends or family ever so often about this toxic environment and how it’s a strain trying to get to work each day. I know the feeling.

However, have you ever thought to yourself that you are the person in control of your own destiny? You’re old enough to fight for peace as much as you actually need it. Do you have to settle for chaos in any environment you find yourself in?

You absolutely do not need to keep space in a chaotic and uncomfortable environment that’s robbing your peace. Now I know marriage is tricky, so I’m not telling you to walk away from a marriage without the proper wisdom to do so.

However, as an adult, you can navigate your circle wisely and keep the peace and sanity intact. If the job is toxic, try finding another one, ask to switch location or department depending on work flexibility, and so on. You don’t have to settle for anything.

Life is too short a journey anyway, trying to spend most of it complaining about your peace being stolen from you. Do something about it, and don’t have regrets later on. You do have a choice!

For the ones in environments that maybe you can’t leave and have to be present, then the next step is to guard your heart. Limit your interactions to a minimum if you have to and find solace in other areas of your life that give you peace.

That could be a women’s circle that you plug into each day. Maybe finding fun activities that you like to do for yourself. Either way, you’re filling your peace tank more than your chaos tank. That’s the key! It will keep you grounded even in toxic environments.

Don’t Neglect Yourself

Tend to your wellbeing. Peace needs a place to reside in that’s well cared for. Don’t neglect spending the time to continually feed your soul. Your soul does need proper rest and care ever so often. Don’t let the busyness of life and responsibilities crowd out your need for caring for yourself.

The little things that bring you peace and nourish your soul each day are what you need to prioritize. For some women, it’s walking in nature daily; for others, it’s just a quiet time with a book, or just buying flowers or gardening. Whatever your soul craves each time that brings you peace, try to multiply it.

Before you know it, your peace tank is thriving again with just the simple things you enjoy in life.

If before, you thought it was hard to find peace even in chaos, then I can tell you it’s more a mindset shift than complaining about what isn’t serving you well. Whatever you do, however, find the joy and peace around you each day.

I wrote a book called A Balanced Life: Moving From a Dysfunctional Life to a Purposeful One. I do believe that we can create the lives that we want to live for ourselves in peace and balance.

We need to make it a priority to shift our lives from what’s not working or helping us be our best selves to something more balanced and meaningful. Get a copy on Amazon.

Also, for more finding balance and self-care-related blog posts, visit:

• Learning To Love Who You Are
• Living A Life Of Gratitude
• Balancing Motherhood and Purpose
• A Mom In Need Of A TIME-OUT
• Benefits Of Self-care As A Mom
• Overcoming The Hurdles And Struggles Of Motherhood
• Staying fit as a mom

In addition, for more information about my personal journey of re-discovery, get a copy of my book available on Amazon: I am Who God Says I Am: Always be inspired to live the life God has planned for you. It also highlights my personal journey of transition from a dysfunctional life to a purposeful one.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest to see how life can be lived in balance.

Did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? What were some of your favorite tips? How have they worked for you? Leave a comment below; I’d love to know what you think.

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